Till we meet again
by samanddianefan10
Summary: Diane reevaluates her relationship with Sam on her wedding day. Set during I do, adieu.


My name is Diane Chambers. This is my wedding day, and Sam is stopping the wedding. These are the thoughts that go through my mind.

I think of the awful night when we broke up….when you threw me out of the bar. When we talked, I waited for you to tell me I should say something else. In my heart I prayed that you would just say the words that I needed to hear from you. I needed a sign , a verbal clue, if only you had stopped me then. We would not have missed out on another year of our lives together. I just was hoping, praying, waiting for you to ask me to stay. I was tired of the words, tired of the fights. Sick of the bitterness that had risen between us. To see the extremes you would go to just to keep the fight going made feel sad, and I pitied you. I did not have the strength then to tell you that, but it was true. I felt bad because I knew you were ready and willing to get rid of our love just because of a stupid fight that in the end, didn't really matter anyways. The fact that you were so ready to let go of me so quickly stung me bitterly, but I tried to pull myself together. I tried, but it wasn't enough. I needed help in getting over you.

You were the love of my life. You were the man I planned on marrying and maybe bearing children for. You were the man who would be the last man I kissed for the rest of my life. And yet you chose to walk away from me. How could you do it, Sam? Didn't we have something beautiful? Didn't we have something worth fighting for? I would have fought for you, not with you. I guess you just got so sick of tired you lost track of what you were really fighting for anyways. And so I had no choice but to go away. And so I did. I walked out of the bar and out of your life. I never thought that I'd ever see you again, let alone kiss your lips or be in your arms again. And here it is, our wedding day. I can't but help but think of the low point in our relationship as we decide to begin our lives together on this wondrous occasion.

Oh, you've lied to me. You told me you were going to an aunt's funeral, not for a weekend of skiing with some local ski bunnies. There was the time you took another girl to her hotel room, and kissed her. We had not even broken up! But you did turn her down. I see now that what was for most people would have been a major indiscretion for you was a major milestone. You were willing to put my feelings about your own self-seeking needs. In a strange way, and this is what you were trying to tell me, that is when you knew you loved me. All I could see was the girl that you shouldn't have been with. But knowing you as well as I do now I realize you were, indeed, trying to tell me you love me. In all of our lows there have been many highs. That is why we are where we are at tonight.

I was so hurt that you walked away from our relationship that it led to drastic actions on my part. I had to seek outside opinions on the situation, if you will. While I was in that place I learned to be strong on my own, and to forgive you. And now I need all of these strengths more than ever. Tonight, you see, you said that you won't marry me. You broke my heart yet again, but for different reasons. You won't marry me because you love me. You won't let me miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime. Oh how far we've come. You walked away from me before because you were angry. And now you're walking away from us because you love me. That's the man I will love until I die. How can you walk away from me now Sam? I think I know how- it's because you want me to live a life fulfilled. This is the chance I've been waiting for all of my life. I've always dreamt of being an author. I've also dreamt of being Mrs. Sam Malone. I want it all. How could you walk away from me now when I need you the most? I see that you are not walking away, merely stepping aside. A true sign of my growth is that I can see the difference. This time I don't feel so abandoned or rejected. I feel loved and protected. If I fail it will be on my own accord and if I succeed it will be my own success. I think you see that and want that for me. I tell myself that this is temporary. I will be back, Sam. I will be. You'll see.

I love you, Sam Malone, with my heart and soul. A part of you will remain with me no matter where I am. Time nor distance can not separate what we have started for ourselves. I will be back, Sam. Don't give up on me. I won't give up on me either. We belong together, you and I. We share the same soul. Miles apart, you'll still be with me. And now I must go. Don't tell me to have a good life. You make it sound so final. I will be back. I will. And slowly, I turn around and shut the door to the place I am certain I will reenter in six months. I can't look back. You're there, watching me. I must go on now, but there is one thing that I am sure of in my life: Sam and I belong together, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live. If you ask me if I love him, I shall simply smile and say "I do."


End file.
